Good evening. Most of my day today was beautiful. On the Tunica Queen, Mississippi sun and Mississippi breezes all on the Mississippi river. Beautiful.
Well just as the sun was beginning to set, my phone rang. A man that has loved me, fathered me, pastored me, mentored me, hurt me, and reconciled WITH me departed from this earth, and I am hurting…truly hurting. Through it all, he was my pastor. Several months ago, “life” happened and I chose to back away from him. I have no regrets for doing so because sometimes, space is what we need. A couple of months ago, we began to reach out to each other, we reconciled with each other and with God. We both were walking the spiritual journey in life and we knew that our journey could not move forward until we repositioned ourselves, and that’s just what we did.
(l-r-r/ brandon, coach barnes, bishop / l-r-f/ bridgett, ma b, tanja, bray /not picured: wife, terri)
Shortly after my biological father passed in 96, Bishop Anthony Barnes stepped up and took on the role without hesitation. I’d really just met him, but the connection was Godly; it was predestined, so it happened quickly. He took a kid who had no knowledge of who God was and exposed her to all that He could be.
Tonight, a part of me is still, mute, and in pain. A part of me died with him, yet a part of him, in me, lives on. Bishop and I were both young and stubborn and often butted heads, but at the end of the day, he was my spiritual father and I was his daughter regardless.
His life’s scripture was 1 Cor 9:19 “though I am free from no man, I make myself a slave to win the more” and this how he lived his life. He was a spiritual human, who understood that he was human. He ministered, made mistakes, and moved forward. Sometimes, we need to remind ourselves of that. We often place people on pedestals that only God should be placed on and when they let us down, it hurts. The whole time we fail to realize that it wasn’t fair for them to be expected of so much when all they were trying to do was get us to a place and to a God of whom we could expect much. Terri, Bridgett, Rod, Brandon, Bray, Tanja, & Ma B, we hurt together; we cry together, but most importantly, trust that we WILL heal together.
One love, His love – kimberly
K.M. Cooley
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u and yours will be in my prayers sister
Nice spot u have here, hope u don’t mind the drive by, do chk me out one day
rawdawgbuffalo and if u like what u read, maybe u will come back, even Blog Roll Me
i’m so sorry k…..