Good evening. June 3rd will be my 2 year blogging anniversary. I’ve thought about doing several things to comemerate it, but then I thought…why not just keep it simple and give you guys a little more of me.
Speaking of simplicity, if there is anything that has grown within me over the last 2 years (more specifically over the last year) it would be the desire TO keep it simple. I’m finding more and more that I care less to be in a crowd and am finding more comfort in spending time alone. This became evident to me when I found myself lonely while sitting dead center of a lot of people. While conversations were good and company was pleasant I just wasn’t interested anymore. I didn’t care to be among the publicly elite; I didn’t care to be the almighty mediator as I’m often called. I only cared to get back in my car and take my 1.5 hour commute home in silence. Simply put, I was boring them and they were annoying me.
Surprisingly enough and though this moment occurred several months ago, it wasn’t until mid-March at Lenny’s Sub Shop with a colleague turned friend that I actually acknowledged and verbally spoke my issue, “I’d lost me.”
Now, earlier I mentioned that this past year has triggered more of a change in me than anything. Why? I’ll tell you. Last June , I was cruising down the Mississippi River on the Tunica Queen river boat when my phone rang. Ironically everyone on the boat that night had little to no cell service, but my phone rang. It was my mom. The only person that has ever pushed me to be great and taught me how to love, be loved, and just “live” had died. That person was also only the second man that I’d ever call “father”. When my dad died in 96, Anthony Barnes picked up the ball and ran with it. He was my best friend and though we had our intense moments, we knew what we meant to each other’s life. A lot happened that night, and a huge chunk of my happiness was left on that boat even after I got off.
After this, I made a commitment to myself to reassess “me” and for the first time, I considered what was good and right for Kimberly. If that meant cutting some ties (emotionally) and risk being alone, I didn’t care. What I did care about was rediscovering who I was at my core and move forward in faith, love, and hope.
In constant redundancy, I say again that life is just too short not to live it. It’s too short to be confined to a comfort zone; it’s too short to stay dead center and away from the edge. Sometimes, we just have to jump and believe that we will be just fine. Sometimes, we just have to be silent and disconnect from the world and trust that it will be there when we get back. All the bad that has happened, all the negativity that surrounds us…in the end, it all brings us to a much better place in life where we rediscover ourselves. It brings us into a much deeper level of spiritual maturity, and it never fails to bring us back to where we belong…in a place of freedom, in a place of peace. It brings us face to face with the conviction that we were wonderfully made and , at His hands, “Free By Design”.
“…how much do you cherish the people around you – the people closest to you? i mean think about it, you go through life each day passing thousands or millions of people and only those that are meant to be in your life are the ones that you encounter, or bump into, or are introduced to…regardless of the situation or season”
from my first blog post – 06/03/07
Peace – Kimberly
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone
Unique Blogger, Blackberry Expert, Sociable IT Professional, Born Again Christian, All Around Geek
All I can say is that this one of the most profound things I have ever read. Thanks, Sis, for sharing a little more of your story.
I love you, Kim and all I can say is that I’m grateful that I am one of those persons meant to be a part of your life.
Peace and Blessings and Happy 2 years! Keep it up!
Squirt
Thanks for sharing this post. I resonate with it on so many levels. So sorry for your loss.
Please keep up your blog, it’s such a blessing to me and many others, I’m sure.