Free By Design » Bishop Anthony Barnes

Mere Example

Kimberly Cooley — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 22:11:00 +0000

Bridgett Barnes once told me that we’re living in a time where people are so desperate for hope, so desperate to find something or someone to believe in that they seek to find these things in places they simply cannot reside in. Even though this conversation took place years ago, it’s so relevant today right down to this very second. We are mere examples of hope, examples of faith because our hope and our faith is in God. We lead others to Him, but we are not Him. Just because I walk like my father, talk like my father, doesn’t mean I am my father. It does however mean that I spend time with him, study him, and desire to be like him. We are to make others excited about the Light that dwells in them rather than bring attention to the one in us. It’s not about us; it’s bigger than us. #oneGodoneLoveoneFaith

Peace – Kimberly

Tried

Kimberly Cooley — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 03:47:55 +0000

This world alone brings tests and trials. But remember – whether tested or tried stay FULL of FAITH. #faithmakesthedifference
Sent from my Cellular South BlackBerry® Smartphone

Open Letter To You

Kimberly Cooley — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 00:23:29 +0000

Hey! I can’t believe it’s been this long already. Normally when friends talk to me about losing someone, I typically tell them, from experience, that it takes me a full year (day by day) to accept the fact that that person is not coming back. Well…you have made me a liar because a part of me still wants to believe that your death is some cruel joke of yours or some unusually twisted technique to teach me a lesson. I remember walking up to your casket with Dimples, Bridg’s sister looking at you and thinking to myself this can’t be real. I was waiting for an outburst of laughter or a smile because you couldn’t hold the joke any longer. That never happended. It was definitnely reality and reality hurts.

A lot has happened in the last two years – some good, some bad. I’ve grown a lot and matured a lot spiritually. I took some time away from everybody…literally EVERYBODY. I know you’d fuss about me doing that, but I had to, and I can honestly say it helped. In each day, I rediscovered (and continue to rediscover) a bit more of myself and really entered into somewhat of an introspective phase. I’ll be the first to tell you that it wasn’t pretty.

I had an epiphany the other day that I’ve finally “got” this financial thing down. Nothing in particular happened but rather it was like God whispering to me, “You’ve got it!” It was pretty neat. I guess it’s been a while since I’ve had something confirmed right before my eyes. Guess I haven’t been paying attention, BUT I got it and it feels darn good.

I guess you’ve noticed that I’m back at MPC full time. Its good to be home. Actually it’s good to not dream about you almost daily which happened consistently until I did listen and adhere and return to MPC. It’s all good. Terri and I are in a good place. She won’t sell me your car just yet, but we’re still cool. A few other relationships have been restored as well. Speaking of Terri, you’ve got to be tickled. She’s like a little, walking, preaching, dynamite. It’s so powerfully and divinely cute. I know you’re proud.

I’ve been spending a lot of time at Coach and Bridgett’s in GA. It’s been good for me. For a while after you died, I couldn’t even look at Coach because I kept seeing you. It was tough, but after he hugged me and prayed with me prior to me leaving one night, things got better. The last time I was there, I literally only left the house maybe three times. It just felt good being there. There was a sense of closeness that I’d been missing that I felt the entire time I was there. What really put the icing on the cake was when Bray just started talking to me out of the blue. Weird right?

Hmmm let’s see. I’m about to move to Cleveland (yes again)! I’m actually looking forward to it this time. I work directly for DSU now so that has made community and campus life that much better. I do need one favor for you. While you’re up there chillin with the Big Guy, can you talk to him about the mosquitoes in Cleveland? Just kidding. It’s going to be a good move. Jahviah and Joey are helping me. Wesley is also but he just doesn’t know it yet :p

Dude, Angela and the praise team are “doin it.” OMG! Talk about a worship experience. I would have never in a million years put Angela on stage with a mic. It is AWESOME!

Before I go, I just want to say that I miss you. The older I get, I’m realizing that we have a lot of similiar traits, which could be a bad thing, but I’m going to chalk it up to being good. I’m becoming more and more stubborn. Oh and the liberty of not taking phone calls when I don’t feel like it is SO FRIGGIN GREAT. Haha. Seriously, you impacted me in ways that neither of us were aware of, and I couldn’t be happier that you did. We had some intense moments, but at the day’s end, we still loved and cared about each other.

This letter’s to you, Bishop. And Terri, this song’s for you. I love you.

I love you, Bishop.

Kimberly

“Still With You” by Eric Benet

Heaven knows what you’ve been through

So much pain

Even though you can’t see

I’m not far away

We always say if one of us

Somehow went away

We’d light a candle and say a prayer

Know that love still remains

Close your eyes, go to sleep

Know my love is all around you

Dream in peace, when you wake

You will know I’m still with you

Live your life from this day on

And love again

I know you’d do the same for me

That’s the way that loves is supposed to be

Close your eyes, go to sleep

Know my love is all around you

Dream in peace, when you wake

You will know I’m still with you

When you feel those lonely teardrops

Rolling down your face

Just know my love watches over you

Always, always

Close your eyes, go to sleep

Know my love is all around you

Dream in peace, when you wake

You will know I’m still with you

I’m still with you

Baba (Daddy)

Kimberly Cooley — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 18:04:44 +0000

Ozell gave me life; Bishop taught me how to live it. Ozell taught me to love; Bishop taught me to love God. Because of these two men, I live, love life, and give love. Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. Happy Father’s Day, Bishop. I love you and miss you both! - Your baby girl

[Click to enlarge]

Peas In A Divine Pod

Kimberly Cooley — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 04:06:57 +0000

Good evening. Last weekend, a powerful message was ministered at a church I fellowship with when I’m in Georgia, The Church At Chapel Hill (CCH). Their current series is titled, “If Not Us, Who? If Not Now, When?” This particular message was on “Assignment.” Although the entire message kept you locked in, one particular part literally made me stop and rewind the podcast. Pastor Jeremiah touched on the American Dream being the American Scheme. In other words, he talked about how desiring to meet the world’s standards of success distracts us from what’s really important – our assignment to win souls to Christ and reach the lost. I could not agree more. Landing a 6 figure job, driving a BMW, living in a lavish house, with a dog, and a privacy fence from here to Heaven means nothing if you don’t share about God in every chance that you get. It means nothing if you don’t care enough for a single person on this earth to be concerned about their salvation. We have gotten so far out of touch with compassion and ministry and so focused on meeting the world’s standards…sadly even in the church. You better believe me when I say, “spiritual elitism does exist.” Living like this doesn’t benefit the Kingdom of God. It benefits our ego.

Yesterday I heard another amazing sermon that ironically though divinely piggy backs the message from CCH. My pastor, Terri, encouraged us to be relentless in our faith. The sermon resonated with me on so many levels.

The definition of relentless is: Unyielding in severity or strictness; Steady and persistent.
Matthew 11:12 reads, “From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it.”

I told you these two message were divinely connected. :p

At what point do we (Christians) get as aggressive and as relentless about what we believe in our faith as we do in accomplishing the American Dream? When do we get so fed up with people living in darkness that we sacrifice all that we have to reach them even if it means our reputation, public image, or financial comfort? When do we become so transparent that unbelievers can’t help but to see that you’re human yet connect with your compassion and love?

What are you working for? What are you working towards? Those questions apply to me as well so don’t please don’t get it twisted. I’m not there. Striving to be, but not there.

I’ll end with this. Pastor Jeremiah read a quote that essentially said that our most glorious purpose on this earth is to contribute to the glorification of God until the end of time (paraphrase). Well, let’s do just that…

W.I.N. Ministries Mission Statement:

We purpose to win souls for Christ; By profound proclamation; intense explanation, and practical application of the Word of God; Operating under, in and through, the Holy Spirit.

Further, we purpose to engage in consistent and frequent worship of our God to edify the saints, to reclaim the backsliders and to rescue the lost.

Church At Chapel Hill Mission:

The mission of The Church at Chapel Hill is to Worship the Lord, Reach all people, and Equip to serve.

If Not Us, Who? If Not Now, When?

Peace – Kimberly
Sent from my Cellular South BlackBerry® Smartphone

I Believe.

Kimberly Cooley — Fri, 21 May 2010 04:20:42 +0000

Good evening. Only God would be there when my father died at a time when he was all I had. Only God would be there to wait 18 years for me to get to know Him all the while looking out for me. Only God would be there when I did stupid things that should have cost me my life. Only God would be there when a 6 month old made it clear that he was in my life for good. Only God would be there when I had to choose between money for food and money for gas. Only God would be there when I realized that I had purpose even though I didn’t know what it was. Only God would be there during my 150 miles a day, 5 days a week commute safe and unharmed – not even a scratch. Only God would be there when a long time friend walked away and never looked back. Only God would be there when my own family took advantage of me and tried to dominate my life and manipulate me. Only God would be there the night I cried because my last close friend was moving away. Only God would be there when I, again, lost a father and best friend all at the same time. Only God would be there when professional loyalty turned out to be my worse nightmare. Only God would be there when I discovered that I was born into freedom. Only God would be there when I felt completely alone and misunderstood by everyone. Only God would be there when a subtle voice told me that my lifestyle didn’t align with my character. Only God would be there when my heart ached because the person I fell in love with, my first love, didn’t love me. Only God would be there when I had to swallow my pride and apologize to and forgive someone I honestly didn’t hurt. Only God would be there when I asked for forgiveness for hurting those that I did. Only God would be there the moment I realized that people stick close to you for immediate access to use you. Only God would be there to re-assure me that I was wonderfully made despite of what I felt or thought at the moment. Only God would be there when I learned that some people in my life wasn’t supposed to be there and I had to let them know. Only God would be there to give me the character to accept all the things I’ve done wrong knowing that they don’t make up who I am. Only God would be there to tell me that I’m a flawed human by design and only He was perfect. Only God would be there to give me the strength to be free and share my life with you. And so it continues…

Remember, the end is not where we learn the most, it’s the journey we take to get there. Even at our most uncertain times, the worse moment isn’t until we no longer have a chance to get it right. Where there is breath, there is fight. Never forget that. Stay the course.

Peace – Kimberly

I Can Take It Now – The Encore

Kimberly Cooley — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 03:19:23 +0000

Good evening. Bishop Jakes once preached a sermon titled, “I Can Take It Now.” Through partnership, I received this sermon back in 2006 and have never been able to let it go. I think I’ve shared it with at least a few people who read my blog. Regardless of how many times I listen to it, a new “Word or meaning” is delivered each time.

In this sermon, Bishop Jakes ministers from Mark 2:1-5

“A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”

Upon first read, I believe many would be immediately drawn to the fact that this man’s sins were forgiven. However, when I read, I can’t help but to think about how he got to the place in which he was forgiven. See, it was this man’s four friends that were strong enough and dedicated enough to take him from a place of dependency to a place of being fiercely independent. When they couldn’t get him through the door to see Jesus, they lowered him through the roof. Talk about loyalty. If you’ve read any of my blogs, probably 1 out of 10 touch on relationships in some way or another. This is why. It’s essential to me to have people in my inner circle that are willing to help usher me to breakthroughs in my life – people that know my heart and is willing to pick me up and take me into an atmosphere where anything’s possible regardless of whether or not they think they will benefit from it. One of the things that Bishop Barnes used to openly and proudly say to others was, ” I need you. I can’t do this without you; you make me better” – Awesome Words of Wisdom.

As people in close relationships, I only think it’s fair for those types of expectations to be placed on us, and for us to place upon in return. I am so ever grateful for the closely knitted relationships in my life; because of these people, love, happiness, and accountability are not things that I will be falling short of anytime soon. They cover me; they pray for me; they love me; and if needed, they will carry me…I need them; THEY make me better.

Here’s an excerpt that I clipped out just for you

I need four men who are as crazy as I am; as wild, as wreckless, as relentless as I am because I can’t have a weak man carrying me. I gotta have somebody who can run into a problem and work it out. I can’t have somebody who hits a hard place and drops me. If I’m a woman, I wouldn’t want to be married to a man who hits a hard place and drops me. I’m a man and I don’t want to be married to a woman who hits a hard place and drops me. I don’t want a momma that drops me; I don’t want a daddy who gets weak and drops me. I don’t want a friend who gets tired of me and drops me. I don’t want a preacher who gets sick of me and drops me because I’m so messed up, I’ve got have somebody who can get in a tough place and figure a way around it. You can’t drop me; I’m already broken, already messed up; I’m already shattered. I can’t take another breaking. If you drop me again…

Peace – Kimberly

Originally posted: DEC 12TH, 2008

Who Knows?

Kimberly Cooley — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 03:39:43 +0000

Good evening. I’ve been ‘stuck’ on a song for the last few days now for whatever reason. That song is John Legend’s “Everybody Knows.” The lyrics are dead on when it comes to love, relationships, and all everyone else that’s not involved in either of the two. Here are some of the lyrics:

I don’t care what the people say

they’re probably lonely anyway

baby, don’t fill up your head

with he said, she said

it seems like you just don’t know

the radio’s on, you’re tuning me out

I’m trying to speak, you’re turning me down

and I know one day you’ll see

nobody has it easy

I still can’t believe you found somebody new

but I wish you the best…I guess.

This song greatly resonates with the hurt after someone that you truly love has walked out of your life. The pain in unexplainable, but yet everyone has an explanation. Everyone has your best interest at heart and know exactly what you need to do next. Not true. The truth is that only 3 people are involved. The two that are in the relationship and the God that hopefully they both serve. Everyone ese….well they just don’t know.

It’s easy for someone to wipe a tear or to hold a hand, but there’s not much else that people can do for a truly broken heart. There’s (humanly) nothing that can’t be done about the pain of someone trying their best to explain their feelings to someone and the whole time being rejected at every word. And then having to be all spiritual and righteous and forgive them and wish them the best…THAT HURTS. This type of pain can’t be healed by man and unless someone’s really been in love, it can’t be felt by man either.

I think this is where many of us go wrong with moving forward with relationships. Sure we make committments to God; we vow to take care of ourselves, move forward with our lives. But we sometimes forget to do one thing – let God heal our hearts. We forget to submit our hearts to Him; we forget to submit ourselves to Him. We don’t ask Him to reveal to us our imperfections and what may be wrong within us. We don’t ask Him to teach us how to love and how to be open and give of ourselves freely. And above all, we don’t practice to perfect love by truly loving God first. It’s so much easier to just say, “I’m good” and walk away knowing that you really aren’t. It’s so much easier to say, “I’m not doing the relationship thing or I’m not trusting again.” “It’s all about me.” To that, I say, keep living.

Now, many will read this and see it as a very depressing post, but not really. Actually, it’s the reality of love. Everyone wants to shine light on the beauty of love and how great it is. But as with everything in this life, there is another side. This side. But don’t let that discourage you. All of the hurt I just wrote about has a purpose that we sometimes miss. You see, a hurting heart is a great indicator that your heart is still responsive, still repairable. It still feels, and most importantly, it still loves. See, when your heart gets to a point to where it’s hard and not so responsive, chances are is that you, yourself, have become numb. Numb to love, numb to life, numb to all that’s around you. Your heart’s become rock solid, immovable, unbreakable. Dead in a sense. Dead in spirit. Dead in emotion. Why live that way? Through the heartache, tears, pain…press right on into God’s arms. There’s healing there. Effective healing.

Life experiences have been tough, but in the midst of them, I decided that I wasn’t going to be afraid to take on a heart ache or two. As a matter of fact, I’ve taken a heart ache or two, but I’m still here. Still loving, still feeling, still living life, and still breathing. I’ve seen ‘numb’ people, and that’s not it. Bishop once said that “hurting people hurt people.” So real. So real.

Still Here

I’ve been scarred and battered,

my hopes the wind done scattered,

snow has friz me, sun has baked me,

looks like between ‘em

they done tried to make me

stop laughin’, stop lovin’, stop livin’–

but I don’t care!

I’m still here!

– by Langston Hughes

Peace – Kimberly

P.S. – This isn’t limited to just relationships. The pain is just as tough when a friend walks away too. Just sayin.

Play The Role

Kimberly Cooley — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 07:28:13 +0000

Good evening. When life goes left field, never expect what’s around you to change. Instead, focus on how you, yourself can handle what changes. Introspect; start at home. You never know. You just may prove to be quite the trend setter for doing better!

“Never allow a negative situation to influence you, but rather you influence a negative situation, positively.” – Bishop A. Barnes

Peace – Kimberly

Who I Am.

Kimberly Cooley — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 04:05:33 +0000

Good evening. How can we set goals when we’ve yet to determine who or what we want to be? I mean, for the last 3 weeks, all I’ve heard is “New Years Resolution this” and “New Years Resolution that. Are our lives no more important than a few weeks every year? My pastor encouraged us a few weeks ago to make “New Life Resolutions.” This makes soooo much more sense. We spend all of this time chasing after things that really don’t matter like losing weight, quit smoking, paying off debt, etc. Sure these things are good; don’t get me wrong. But if our character is not in a position to live up to the goals we set, then we fail before we even start. I think that’s why so many celebrities do the dumbest things that hurt their careers and makes them “normal” again in our sight. Their character simply can’t handle where their goals and aspirations have taken them. Not to say its wrong to be a celebrity but sometimes the fame and success comes long before the maturity needed to handle it. Why do you think there are so many wealthy people that are spiritually and emotionally unhappy? T.I. said it best, “Your values are in disarray. You’re prioritizing horribly. Unhappy with your riches cause you’re poor morally.”

We wanted and planned to get the house, to get the career, to get the husband/wife but failed to ASK AND RELY on God to prepare us for those things and what they bring…and sometimes even what it takes to get them (introspection).

Dig this. I have nothing against setting goals. Goals are good. I have nothing against success and recognition; all of that is good. However, my first priority in goal setting is making my mind up to be the person that God has called me to be. That’s #1. Number 2 is embracing the journey of becoming that person. Number 3 is seeking every opportunity to give, to serve, to love, and to sow good seed in great ground. Next thing you know, I’m walking in God’s will with a harvest on the way and character that has been both tried and refined. And when that harvest comes, albeit success, recognition, or simply just a peace of mind, I can’t count it up to a list of 5 things I did better in the new year. Instead, I can only chalk it up to the one life changing decision that I made in faith – to accept Christ, live by His word, and walk in faith believing in only HIM as He works on and through me.

A wise man named, Bishop Anthony Charles Barnes once said that God will never give us anything that He has to compete with. Wise man.

Peace – Kimberly