Father, a lot of things have been on my mind the last few months. Mainly things about myself. You know, quirky things or character flaws that may not be so appealing or likable to mankind and more importantly, You.

For starters, I’ve become easily annoyed by people lately even more so than before.  I’m not sure why, but these days it just doesn’t take much at all for me to shut down and keep to myself.  I’d like to say that it’s a good thing because then I can focus on more but I’d be totally lying. My annoyance does absolutely nothing for the Kingdom. In fact, it’s hard for me to share about “You” if I’m counting down the minutes when I’m talking to people.

Another thing I’ve noticed lately is that I feel used a lot of times mainly by some of the very people I call “friends.” Why is this? Did I cause it? I’ve backed completely away from certain people because of this. I’ve also hurt some. What’s scary is that some of these people used You to connect with me only to never mention You again. Can you help me to discern these types of relationships?

Now this next thing, I probably will regret asking for after going through what I need to go through to get it, but I need more patience with people. (Please don’t be TOO hard on me Not just in general, but in certain situations. Like for instance, I get ultimately frustrated when people don’t love as hard as I do. I know it sounds silly, but I don’t give people time enough to get to know me before I write/cut them off because they’re not moving at my pace or out of fear of what I mentioned earlier about being used.  Every time I seem to always fail to 1. recognize where they emotionally, spiritually, etc and 2. give them time. And it’s not just in that situation. There are other’s too. You know how I can see the good in anyone? Well sometimes that quality is a burden because many times I can’t convince people of what I see in them and it frustrates me. So much that I am angered. I surely can’t help them like that.

Since we’re on relationships…I’ve found myself withholding “me” again. You know how people so quickly and easily invite me into their lives? Well I don’t do the same in a lot of cases. Correction: make that MOST cases. I’m just really afraid to be vulnerable to more than just the VERY few in number, “tried and true,” people.  Part of me feels like I’m supposed to be the “issue-less” being who is expected to always be ok. Well, the fact of the matter is that I’m not always okay and I need to vent, and cry, and be held too. But I have an issue with trusting people to that extent. Past relationships and life experiences undoubtedly make me feel this way, but I need to move past this. I love to love and when I love, I love, but I also need to be loved. I’m totally trusting You to protect me and my heart. When other’s come to me in confidence, give me the right things to say even if the right thing to say is said in silence.

Direction. Geographical direction. I need to know what this “draw” is and if it’s You or me. One thing’s for sure is that it’s strong. You know exactly what and where I’m talking about. In fact, you probably saw me tear up last week when a friend merely mentioned “taking a leap of faith and trusting You” when I shared with him how I felt. Guide me.

God, there’s so much in me that I desperately need to get out. Please help me to find the medium or outlet to do just that. I want to use my life to help build the Kingdom. I want to give strictly under Your direction and in ways that You will be glorified. I want to serve. I want to love and have meaningful relationships, so that You and Your love will be seen. I want to be compassionate and patient. I want to be brave with a heart like Yours. I want to be the “me” You created me to be. I want to trust; I want to love. I want to be compassionate and patient. I want to walk like you. I want to be free.

In Christ’s name, Amen.

Peace – Kimberly

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed….All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.” » 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 15

Peace – Kimberly

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

-noun

the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to somethingthat is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, tosuch an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

Hey. Hey. Ease up. I’m working on it.  Kinda.

That being said…Much respect to you, DMO!

Devin O.

Religion is destroying us. It separates us and makes hate one another. It completely turns us away from the one thing that can save us… the love of Christ.

Religion will make you talk to God only on Sundays, act holy only in public, and give only after you’ve been given to. Religion will make a preacher live a double life Monday through Saturday and pulpit retaliate on Sunday.

Religion will make you have more faith in your parents and friends than God himself.

Religion will make you start a “ministry” but you never go outside your four walls. Religion will make you pray hard, long, and powerfully when it concerns YOUR needs.

Got religion? Sent from my Cellular South BlackBerry® Smartphone

Unfortunately, becoming aware of the truth can be emotionally exhausting, but living a life in integrity filled with character and free of uncertain influences is more than encouraging.

Peace – Kimberly

Peace – Kimberly

Living a life driven by things of this world is enticing because usually it requires little effort with seemingly great rewards. Living a life dedicated to God requires service, diligence, patience, tenacity…a whole new lifestyle, but the Eternal rewards are invaluable, resources are unlimited, and all that you have access to is freakin awesome. Not to mention the “just because you’re on my mind and I love you like that” bonuses that God tends to lay on you every now and then! You know like all green lights on the way home. Yeah those things

Remember, little effort, no life. A lot of effort, eternal life. Yes it takes an effort but YES, it’s also worth it!

Peace – Kimberly