Free By Design » Comfort

More Than Just A Number

Kimberly Cooley — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 16:08:17 +0000

Good morning. A few months ago Jeremiah with The Church At Chapel Hill preached on the “American Scheme” and how we shouldn’t conform to the American Dream (house, cars, picket fence, etc) but instead focus on living a life aligned with God’s will with or without those things. This message echoes when I think of our country who has made credit “ruler of all” and is now having its own “credibility” questioned and credit rating damaged.

In true God fashion, He prepared, refocused, and comforted his people for what was to come. Why wouldn’t I want to serve a God who constantly has me on his mind?

I am #morethananumber because #imGods.

Peace – Kimberly

I Believe.

Kimberly Cooley — Fri, 21 May 2010 04:20:42 +0000

Good evening. Only God would be there when my father died at a time when he was all I had. Only God would be there to wait 18 years for me to get to know Him all the while looking out for me. Only God would be there when I did stupid things that should have cost me my life. Only God would be there when a 6 month old made it clear that he was in my life for good. Only God would be there when I had to choose between money for food and money for gas. Only God would be there when I realized that I had purpose even though I didn’t know what it was. Only God would be there during my 150 miles a day, 5 days a week commute safe and unharmed – not even a scratch. Only God would be there when a long time friend walked away and never looked back. Only God would be there when my own family took advantage of me and tried to dominate my life and manipulate me. Only God would be there the night I cried because my last close friend was moving away. Only God would be there when I, again, lost a father and best friend all at the same time. Only God would be there when professional loyalty turned out to be my worse nightmare. Only God would be there when I discovered that I was born into freedom. Only God would be there when I felt completely alone and misunderstood by everyone. Only God would be there when a subtle voice told me that my lifestyle didn’t align with my character. Only God would be there when my heart ached because the person I fell in love with, my first love, didn’t love me. Only God would be there when I had to swallow my pride and apologize to and forgive someone I honestly didn’t hurt. Only God would be there when I asked for forgiveness for hurting those that I did. Only God would be there the moment I realized that people stick close to you for immediate access to use you. Only God would be there to re-assure me that I was wonderfully made despite of what I felt or thought at the moment. Only God would be there when I learned that some people in my life wasn’t supposed to be there and I had to let them know. Only God would be there to give me the character to accept all the things I’ve done wrong knowing that they don’t make up who I am. Only God would be there to tell me that I’m a flawed human by design and only He was perfect. Only God would be there to give me the strength to be free and share my life with you. And so it continues…

Remember, the end is not where we learn the most, it’s the journey we take to get there. Even at our most uncertain times, the worse moment isn’t until we no longer have a chance to get it right. Where there is breath, there is fight. Never forget that. Stay the course.

Peace – Kimberly

Everyday

Kimberly Cooley — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 15:38:20 +0000

Good morning. Driving west and seeing the sun in rear view reminds me that God is seeing me on my journey and His grace & mercy is with me..And to prove His awesomeness, He re-assures me on my way home…

Peace – Kimberly

Presence Is So Underrated

Kimberly Cooley — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 03:20:25 +0000

Good evening. As promised, I said I would post about my trip to Atlanta this past weekend. Rather than bore you with a play by play recap, I’ll just leave you with this. It feels pretty good to spend time with true and genuine people. People that love you unconditionally. It feels pretty good to walk into a place for the first time and know that undoubtedly in God’s timing and season, you are supposed to be in AND a part OF that place. It feels pretty good to witness God’s confirmation about so many areas in your life as if He were standing right next to you guiding you along your path. So sweet.

Bridgett and Kathy, as always, the time spent was special. The Church at Chapel Hill, the time spent was both life changing and amazing. To all 3, the love and fellowship was (is) simply awesome!! For all things, I am grateful.

Peace – Kimberly

Who Knows?

Kimberly Cooley — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 03:39:43 +0000

Good evening. I’ve been ‘stuck’ on a song for the last few days now for whatever reason. That song is John Legend’s “Everybody Knows.” The lyrics are dead on when it comes to love, relationships, and all everyone else that’s not involved in either of the two. Here are some of the lyrics:

I don’t care what the people say

they’re probably lonely anyway

baby, don’t fill up your head

with he said, she said

it seems like you just don’t know

the radio’s on, you’re tuning me out

I’m trying to speak, you’re turning me down

and I know one day you’ll see

nobody has it easy

I still can’t believe you found somebody new

but I wish you the best…I guess.

This song greatly resonates with the hurt after someone that you truly love has walked out of your life. The pain in unexplainable, but yet everyone has an explanation. Everyone has your best interest at heart and know exactly what you need to do next. Not true. The truth is that only 3 people are involved. The two that are in the relationship and the God that hopefully they both serve. Everyone ese….well they just don’t know.

It’s easy for someone to wipe a tear or to hold a hand, but there’s not much else that people can do for a truly broken heart. There’s (humanly) nothing that can’t be done about the pain of someone trying their best to explain their feelings to someone and the whole time being rejected at every word. And then having to be all spiritual and righteous and forgive them and wish them the best…THAT HURTS. This type of pain can’t be healed by man and unless someone’s really been in love, it can’t be felt by man either.

I think this is where many of us go wrong with moving forward with relationships. Sure we make committments to God; we vow to take care of ourselves, move forward with our lives. But we sometimes forget to do one thing – let God heal our hearts. We forget to submit our hearts to Him; we forget to submit ourselves to Him. We don’t ask Him to reveal to us our imperfections and what may be wrong within us. We don’t ask Him to teach us how to love and how to be open and give of ourselves freely. And above all, we don’t practice to perfect love by truly loving God first. It’s so much easier to just say, “I’m good” and walk away knowing that you really aren’t. It’s so much easier to say, “I’m not doing the relationship thing or I’m not trusting again.” “It’s all about me.” To that, I say, keep living.

Now, many will read this and see it as a very depressing post, but not really. Actually, it’s the reality of love. Everyone wants to shine light on the beauty of love and how great it is. But as with everything in this life, there is another side. This side. But don’t let that discourage you. All of the hurt I just wrote about has a purpose that we sometimes miss. You see, a hurting heart is a great indicator that your heart is still responsive, still repairable. It still feels, and most importantly, it still loves. See, when your heart gets to a point to where it’s hard and not so responsive, chances are is that you, yourself, have become numb. Numb to love, numb to life, numb to all that’s around you. Your heart’s become rock solid, immovable, unbreakable. Dead in a sense. Dead in spirit. Dead in emotion. Why live that way? Through the heartache, tears, pain…press right on into God’s arms. There’s healing there. Effective healing.

Life experiences have been tough, but in the midst of them, I decided that I wasn’t going to be afraid to take on a heart ache or two. As a matter of fact, I’ve taken a heart ache or two, but I’m still here. Still loving, still feeling, still living life, and still breathing. I’ve seen ‘numb’ people, and that’s not it. Bishop once said that “hurting people hurt people.” So real. So real.

Still Here

I’ve been scarred and battered,

my hopes the wind done scattered,

snow has friz me, sun has baked me,

looks like between ‘em

they done tried to make me

stop laughin’, stop lovin’, stop livin’–

but I don’t care!

I’m still here!

– by Langston Hughes

Peace – Kimberly

P.S. – This isn’t limited to just relationships. The pain is just as tough when a friend walks away too. Just sayin.

Silently

Kimberly Cooley — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 02:51:21 +0000

Good evening. It’s amazing how after the fact, you can sit silently and mentally and vividly replay just how God strategically guided you out of your last unforeseen situation. Like Him watching you leave your mobile in the kitchen just so He could make it ring only to get you back in the kitchen to turn the oven off because you forgot to do it earlier. Or even better, watching that guaranteed new job go down the drain for seemingly no reason at all only to later find out that had you gotten the job, you would have immediately been involved in career ending, corporate chaos which would ultimately cause you to pass up the great job you’re at now. Shall I continue?

It is SO hard to see God in the middle of present upsets and let downs, but I’m finding that they key is not looking at the “now.” The key is keeping our eyes on God and trusting that everything He allows to happen has very strategic purpose that only He can predetermine. So basically all we have to do is show up in faith and walk it out!

Peace – Kimberly

One

Kimberly Cooley — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 04:16:56 +0000

Good evening. When we stop and take a minute to truly look at where we are, the first thing we should see is the grace of God. Think about it. Think about all the things that we’ve done in our lifetime that could have, that should have messed this thing up…things that, by fairness, should have destroyed us. But at God’s hand and with His grace and mercy, our story didn’t end. We were given an opportunity to be here now – to live in this moment. So if you can’t think of any reason to praise God or if you can’t find purpose for your life, just look in the mirror and keep staring till you figure it out. You know the rest!

Peace – Kimberly

Humbled.

Kimberly Cooley — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 03:10:48 +0000

Good evening. Ever been so excited that you can’t sleep nor rest without thought of the reasoning behind your excitement? Yeah, me too! Everyday actually. Nothing or no one in particular, but rather the idea that, in this moment, I have at least one more opportunity to play a part in God’s will. Pretty exciting, huh? Yes, indeed.

Peace – Kimberly

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Once Again, No Title

Kimberly Cooley — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:25:00 +0000

"Sometimes, we just have to jump and believe that we will be just fine. Sometimes, we just have to be silent and disconnect from the world and trust that it will be there when we get back."

Good morning. Every since I spoke these words last week, they have become more and more real to me. Last week I made a decision to be completely open and honest to a friend about something that I'd really been struggling to share. Even though a lot was put on the line and my heart was totally open and vulnerable, I still walked away knowing that I had been as transparent and as honest as I could humanly be and that I should feel really good about that. And though things haven't seemingly gone the way I'd hoped they would yet, I am okay.

There's an old Zen saying that goes, "once you leap, the net will appear." In other words, the worse that you can do is stand on the edge wondering which is better – the comfort of where you are OR the possibility of comfort in where you could be. Jump. The worse is that you will get hurt, but in the middle of your pain, trust and know that life has a way of working itself out, and that God definitely has a way of healing all wounds.

If you haven't loved, try it. With all of its "quirkyness", there's still nothing like it. If you haven't let go of something, pay attention and notice that you're standing still while the best things in life pass you by. If you haven't needed anyone, keep living. If you haven't healed from past hurt, find the root of that pain, positively apply it to your life, then uproot it. If you struggle with putting yourself in a place to be loved, you can stop because you are still going to be loved anyway. If you struggle with finding someone to love you, look no further. In the mirror resides someone who can (if given the chance) love you unconditionally with no equivocations.

If you've leaped and the net didn't appear and now you are in a place of pain that's seemingly unbearable, step back and reassess your actions but don't back step all of your moves. You're at this point for a reason. Take a minute, be still, shut up, and stop trying to figure it out. Revelations are manifestations of divine will or truth. You'll never figure it out anyway. But one thing's for sure…you will be ok.

"You have to go the way your blood beats. If you don't live the only life you have, you won't live some other life, you won't live any life at all." -James Baldwin

Peace – Kimberly

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Speak

Kimberly Cooley — Sun, 10 May 2009 00:51:00 +0000

“Even if your hands are shakin’. And your faith is broken. Even as the eyes are closin’. Do it with a heart wide open…Say what you need to say.” – Mayer

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