A lot has happened in the last two years – some good, some bad. I’ve grown a lot and matured a lot spiritually. I took some time away from everybody…literally EVERYBODY. I know you’d fuss about me doing that, but I had to, and I can honestly say it helped. In each day, I rediscovered (and continue to rediscover) a bit more of myself and really entered into somewhat of an introspective phase. I’ll be the first to tell you that it wasn’t pretty.

I had an epiphany the other day that I’ve finally “got” this financial thing down. Nothing in particular happened but rather it was like God whispering to me, “You’ve got it!” It was pretty neat. I guess it’s been a while since I’ve had something confirmed right before my eyes. Guess I haven’t been paying attention, BUT I got it and it feels darn good.

I guess you’ve noticed that I’m back at MPC full time. Its good to be home. Actually it’s good to not dream about you almost daily which happened consistently until I did listen and adhere and return to MPC. It’s all good. Terri and I are in a good place. She won’t sell me your car just yet, but we’re still cool. A few other relationships have been restored as well. Speaking of Terri, you’ve got to be tickled. She’s like a little, walking, preaching, dynamite. It’s so powerfully and divinely cute. I know you’re proud.

I’ve been spending a lot of time at Coach and Bridgett’s in GA. It’s been good for me. For a while after you died, I couldn’t even look at Coach because I kept seeing you. It was tough, but after he hugged me and prayed with me prior to me leaving one night, things got better. The last time I was there, I literally only left the house maybe three times. It just felt good being there. There was a sense of closeness that I’d been missing that I felt the entire time I was there. What really put the icing on the cake was when Bray just started talking to me out of the blue. Weird right?

Hmmm let’s see. I’m about to move to Cleveland (yes again)! I’m actually looking forward to it this time. I work directly for DSU now so that has made community and campus life that much better. I do need one favor for you. While you’re up there chillin with the Big Guy, can you talk to him about the mosquitoes in Cleveland? Just kidding. It’s going to be a good move. Jahviah and Joey are helping me. Wesley is also but he just doesn’t know it yet :p

Dude, Angela and the praise team are “doin it.” OMG! Talk about a worship experience. I would have never in a million years put Angela on stage with a mic. It is AWESOME!

Before I go, I just want to say that I miss you. The older I get, I’m realizing that we have a lot of similiar traits, which could be a bad thing, but I’m going to chalk it up to being good. I’m becoming more and more stubborn. Oh and the liberty of not taking phone calls when I don’t feel like it is SO FRIGGIN GREAT. Haha. Seriously, you impacted me in ways that neither of us were aware of, and I couldn’t be happier that you did. We had some intense moments, but at the day’s end, we still loved and cared about each other.

This letter’s to you, Bishop. And Terri, this song’s for you.  I love you.

I love you, Bishop.

Kimberly

“Still With You” by Eric Benet

Heaven knows what you’ve been through

So much pain

Even though you can’t see

I’m not far away

We always say if one of us

Somehow went away

We’d light a candle and say a prayer

Know that love still remains

Close your eyes, go to sleep

Know my love is all around you

Dream in peace, when you wake

You will know I’m still with you

Live your life from this day on

And love again

I know you’d do the same for me

That’s the way that loves is supposed to be

Close your eyes, go to sleep

Know my love is all around you

Dream in peace, when you wake

You will know I’m still with you

When you feel those lonely teardrops

Rolling down your face

Just know my love watches over you

Always, always

Close your eyes, go to sleep

Know my love is all around you

Dream in peace, when you wake

You will know I’m still with you

I’m still with you

Remember, the end is not where we learn the most, it’s the journey we take to get there. Even at our most uncertain times, the worse moment isn’t until we no longer have a chance to get it right. Where there is breath, there is fight. Never forget that. Stay the course.

Peace – Kimberly

“A deep awareness of and sympathy for another’s suffering; the humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it.”

Key words being “awareness; wanting to do something about it.” That translates to “relating to with the desire to help.” Nowhere does the definition say anything about “relieving” the suffering. We can help, but ultimately, God relieves! Help vs. Relief.

Speaking from experience, it’s easy to get those mixed up. I’m convinced that I’m one of the most compassionate people on this earth. I have many flaws, but loyalty and compassion (and goofiness) are 3 traits that I don’t struggle with. I know these 3 characteristics of me and while they are essentially good for the most part, they can also be destructive. Just a few short years ago, my compassionate self got my role and God’s role twisted. If someone was hurting and I resonated with them, I was so compassionate to the point that I hosted the pitty party and then convinced me and them that I could make it right. Oh and I was mentioning God, but mentioning Him was about it. Never once did I turn anything over to Him nor encouraged the hurting to turn anything over to Him. Needless to say, more damage was done by my big ol compassionate self than life itself.

But God. That was then; this is now.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not sharing this out cockiness or arrogance, but rather as a testimony to the fact that there will be times when we can relate so much with a person that our desire to help them, hurts them. It’s rather tricky, but when in doubt, seek God. You may have the means and the wherewithal to seemingly put an end to whatever grief, hurt, or burdens that they’re facing at that particular moment, but giving them relief without giving them God deems your assistance only as temporary relief. You failed. I failed. We all fail until we say, “sister or brother, because of what God has done for me, I can help you.” It is then when good works and compassion meets faith. It is then when you, yourself genuinely start to feel purposeful within the Kingdom of God. It is only then when God gets the glory that is only due to Him.

So, next time someone walks out of your life, in the midst of the hurt and before you run after them, give it to God. He can catch up with them just as He caught up with you. Next time someone seeks help from you, be compassionate and if directed, give but before you give, introduce them to the God that gave to you.

My pastor said today that we can run around “doing stuff” and work until we grow tired, but the only reason we quickly grow tired is because we are doing all of the running around within our own might. Same with relationships and people. We get fed up, feel unappreciated, and frustrated because often we go far beyond the boundary of compassion. We go far beyond the reality of giving it to God. We hinder their salvation and growth and limit our contribution in advancing the Kingdom.

Peace – Kimberly

Let me be transparent for a minute. ‘Detached’ is where I have been living lately. Some good, some bad. I’ll start with the bad cause I’m pretty sure that, by nature, that’s what most people want to hear. And for those in my same boat, maybe this is what they need to hear.

Have you ever been hurt so badly that though you forgave all wrong, you still put yourself in a place that you’re confident it won’t happen to you again? How can one be so confident of this you ask? Simple. You create a boundary and no one gets past that point. See. Simple. Well the disadvantage of doing so is that you limit fellowship; you limit interaction, and most importantly you MISS a whole wave of life itself. The chance to truly heal and reestablish and form new relationships come to a halt. You have yourself, and you have God, but you have no one to share the two with. There’s no chance of human touch because no one can get close to you. There’s no chance of sharing an experience because things of interest create questions, and questions require conversation and well you just don’t feel like talking. So, what gives? Detached.

The beautiful thing is that a new day is dawning. Get it right. Be open. Be free. If you need to make amends with someone, do it. If you need to come to terms with a situation that you have no control over, do it. If you need to forgive yourself and restore trust in yourself to take care of yourself, do it.

It’s seemingly easy to live a life of confinement and control, but its that much easier to live a life of love and freedom.

Peace – Kimberly

PS – This is how it feels to be free…

Jonathan Rhys Meyers : Elgar / Something Inside

When the one thing you’re looking for
Is nowhere to be found
And you back stepping all of your moves
Trying to figure it out
You wanna reach out
You wanna give in
Your head’s wrapped around what’s around the next bend
You wish you could find something warm
‘Cause you’re shivering cold

It’s the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on

‘Cause if you hadn’t found me
I would have found you

It was your first taste of love
Living upon what you had

Anybody can return evil for evil… The real victory is being kind to people who mistreat you… USUALLY people that are hurting, end up hurting others…  My rule of thumb to remember is this…. Hurt people, hurt people….  God wants his mature, faith-filled people to help heal wounded hearts… It’s the goodness of God that leads people to repentance… (Remember) Be a light in darkness… If you will be extra kind, before long, God’s goodness expressed through you will overcome any evil…   My friend.. LOVE NEVER FAILS

K.M. Cooley
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Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

Peace – kimberly

K.M. Cooley

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Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

*Update* – Memorial Services From 8/22/2008

Ahmad D. Cooley

Sunday, August 17, 2008 – Monday, August 18, 2008

In peace,

Kimberly

K.M. Cooley
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Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

Here are some pages from Barnes’ obituary.

one love – kimberly

Martha Munizzi – I Believe God

“There comes a time in every believers
life that your faith will be tested
And whose report will you believe?
You must believe the report of the Lord.
Make a choice to believe God, no matter
what you’re going through, no matter what
your situation. No matter how bad it looks,
trust God. Believe that He’ll make a way for
you. Trust His word. Choose to believe)”