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Kimberly Cooley — Sat, 25 Dec 2010 14:21:30 +0000

Good morning. When I first thought about writing this, I didn’t know exactly how I needed to do it. I knew what I wanted to say, but didn’t know how to say it or deliver it. So I decided to write an open letter to God.

Father, a lot of things have been on my mind the last few months. Mainly things about myself. You know, quirky things or character flaws that may not be so appealing or likable to mankind and more importantly, You.

For starters, I’ve become easily annoyed by people lately even more so than before. I’m not sure why, but these days it just doesn’t take much at all for me to shut down and keep to myself. I’d like to say that it’s a good thing because then I can focus on more but I’d be totally lying. My annoyance does absolutely nothing for the Kingdom. In fact, it’s hard for me to share about “You” if I’m counting down the minutes when I’m talking to people.

Another thing I’ve noticed lately is that I feel used a lot of times mainly by some of the very people I call “friends.” Why is this? Did I cause it? I’ve backed completely away from certain people because of this. I’ve also hurt some. What’s scary is that some of these people used You to connect with me only to never mention You again. Can you help me to discern these types of relationships?

Now this next thing, I probably will regret asking for after going through what I need to go through to get it, but I need more patience with people. (Please don’t be TOO hard on me Not just in general, but in certain situations. Like for instance, I get ultimately frustrated when people don’t love as hard as I do. I know it sounds silly, but I don’t give people time enough to get to know me before I write/cut them off because they’re not moving at my pace or out of fear of what I mentioned earlier about being used. Every time I seem to always fail to 1. recognize where they emotionally, spiritually, etc and 2. give them time. And it’s not just in that situation. There are other’s too. You know how I can see the good in anyone? Well sometimes that quality is a burden because many times I can’t convince people of what I see in them and it frustrates me. So much that I am angered. I surely can’t help them like that.

Since we’re on relationships…I’ve found myself withholding “me” again. You know how people so quickly and easily invite me into their lives? Well I don’t do the same in a lot of cases. Correction: make that MOST cases. I’m just really afraid to be vulnerable to more than just the VERY few in number, “tried and true,” people. Part of me feels like I’m supposed to be the “issue-less” being who is expected to always be ok. Well, the fact of the matter is that I’m not always okay and I need to vent, and cry, and be held too. But I have an issue with trusting people to that extent. Past relationships and life experiences undoubtedly make me feel this way, but I need to move past this. I love to love and when I love, I love, but I also need to be loved. I’m totally trusting You to protect me and my heart. When other’s come to me in confidence, give me the right things to say even if the right thing to say is said in silence.

Direction. Geographical direction. I need to know what this “draw” is and if it’s You or me. One thing’s for sure is that it’s strong. You know exactly what and where I’m talking about. In fact, you probably saw me tear up last week when a friend merely mentioned “taking a leap of faith and trusting You” when I shared with him how I felt. Guide me.

God, there’s so much in me that I desperately need to get out. Please help me to find the medium or outlet to do just that. I want to use my life to help build the Kingdom. I want to give strictly under Your direction and in ways that You will be glorified. I want to serve. I want to love and have meaningful relationships, so that You and Your love will be seen. I want to be compassionate and patient. I want to be brave with a heart like Yours. I want to be the “me” You created me to be. I want to trust; I want to love. I want to be compassionate and patient. I want to walk like you. I want to be free.

In Christ’s name, Amen.

Peace – Kimberly

Just Keep Swimming

Kimberly Cooley — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 18:10:29 +0000

As promised, here are a few pics from the GA Aquarium. Enjoy and remember to “Just Keep Swimming!”

Peace – Kimberly

Georgia Aquarium - December 2010
By KimberlyCooley.com | View on Facebook

(H)utty Trust Me

Kimberly Cooley — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 14:22:49 +0000

“You have my deeply, flawed word.” – House

Good morning. How often do we verbally reassure someone of something and then turn around and create distrust through our actions? Be your best self but leave room error because, unless you were born of the virgin Mary, you will screw up. Accept that you’re flawed and know that it’s ok.

I’d rather be an openly flawed honest, human than a well concealed, inconsistent liar any day.

Peace – Kimberly

Sent from my Cellular South BlackBerry® Smartphone

Wall In Your Heart

Kimberly Cooley — Sat, 02 Oct 2010 01:22:19 +0000

“There’s a wall in your heart. That no one can get through. And it’s cold and it’s dark. And you don’t have a clue. But this wall, it will fall. If it’s the last thing I do. I’ll get through this wall in your heart.” – Shelby Lynne “Wall In Your Heart” #goodmusic
Sent from my Cellular South BlackBerry® Smartphone

Confession About Me

Kimberly Cooley — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 19:05:28 +0000

“Love is patient & kind, it does not envy, its not rude, selfish or easily angered & does not keep a list of wrongs.” As beautiful as those words are, they unfortunately but effectively come with a conviction that I need to do better. #transparency #openconfession
Sent from my Cellular South BlackBerry® Smartphone

For Freedom Not For Beauty

Kimberly Cooley — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 03:26:53 +0000

For Freedom Not For Beauty

-Chrisette Michele

There’s a beauty that lives so deep inside each of us.

There’s a fickle eye that doesn’t believe anything it sees.

There’s a benefit in love that erases all doubt and believes good intentions.

There’s an ear that isn’t free enough to give the honest man the benefit of the doubt cluttered by lies not-mentioned.

Since when is creativity subject to criticism?

When is honesty subject to a jury of fears who wouldn’t believe rain if it fell, or sun if it shined?

Sometimes a flower grows when no ones watching.

Sometimes a bird sings and no one hears.

There’s a meadow no one runs on and a cloud no one names.

And what would the sky be with out the sun?

What would the earth be with out its rose?

They’d still be the sky and the Earth.

So perhaps there is a peace in becoming.

Perhaps the meaning is in the experience and not the sight.

Maybe a flower grows because it suffocates under ground.

Whether or not she is always noticed, beauty must become.

She doesn’t look for an eye.

She doesn’t listen for a voice.

She just becomes,

For Freedom Not For Beauty

-Chrisette Michele

Second Time Around

Kimberly Cooley — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 02:44:19 +0000

Good evening. Sometimes a second chance is the best thing that can happen to us. However, the worse thing could be is not embracing it. No one gets it right the first time. No one. Chill out.

“I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries” – Theodore Isaac Rubin

Peace – Kimberly

Who Knows?

Kimberly Cooley — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 03:39:43 +0000

Good evening. I’ve been ‘stuck’ on a song for the last few days now for whatever reason. That song is John Legend’s “Everybody Knows.” The lyrics are dead on when it comes to love, relationships, and all everyone else that’s not involved in either of the two. Here are some of the lyrics:

I don’t care what the people say

they’re probably lonely anyway

baby, don’t fill up your head

with he said, she said

it seems like you just don’t know

the radio’s on, you’re tuning me out

I’m trying to speak, you’re turning me down

and I know one day you’ll see

nobody has it easy

I still can’t believe you found somebody new

but I wish you the best…I guess.

This song greatly resonates with the hurt after someone that you truly love has walked out of your life. The pain in unexplainable, but yet everyone has an explanation. Everyone has your best interest at heart and know exactly what you need to do next. Not true. The truth is that only 3 people are involved. The two that are in the relationship and the God that hopefully they both serve. Everyone ese….well they just don’t know.

It’s easy for someone to wipe a tear or to hold a hand, but there’s not much else that people can do for a truly broken heart. There’s (humanly) nothing that can’t be done about the pain of someone trying their best to explain their feelings to someone and the whole time being rejected at every word. And then having to be all spiritual and righteous and forgive them and wish them the best…THAT HURTS. This type of pain can’t be healed by man and unless someone’s really been in love, it can’t be felt by man either.

I think this is where many of us go wrong with moving forward with relationships. Sure we make committments to God; we vow to take care of ourselves, move forward with our lives. But we sometimes forget to do one thing – let God heal our hearts. We forget to submit our hearts to Him; we forget to submit ourselves to Him. We don’t ask Him to reveal to us our imperfections and what may be wrong within us. We don’t ask Him to teach us how to love and how to be open and give of ourselves freely. And above all, we don’t practice to perfect love by truly loving God first. It’s so much easier to just say, “I’m good” and walk away knowing that you really aren’t. It’s so much easier to say, “I’m not doing the relationship thing or I’m not trusting again.” “It’s all about me.” To that, I say, keep living.

Now, many will read this and see it as a very depressing post, but not really. Actually, it’s the reality of love. Everyone wants to shine light on the beauty of love and how great it is. But as with everything in this life, there is another side. This side. But don’t let that discourage you. All of the hurt I just wrote about has a purpose that we sometimes miss. You see, a hurting heart is a great indicator that your heart is still responsive, still repairable. It still feels, and most importantly, it still loves. See, when your heart gets to a point to where it’s hard and not so responsive, chances are is that you, yourself, have become numb. Numb to love, numb to life, numb to all that’s around you. Your heart’s become rock solid, immovable, unbreakable. Dead in a sense. Dead in spirit. Dead in emotion. Why live that way? Through the heartache, tears, pain…press right on into God’s arms. There’s healing there. Effective healing.

Life experiences have been tough, but in the midst of them, I decided that I wasn’t going to be afraid to take on a heart ache or two. As a matter of fact, I’ve taken a heart ache or two, but I’m still here. Still loving, still feeling, still living life, and still breathing. I’ve seen ‘numb’ people, and that’s not it. Bishop once said that “hurting people hurt people.” So real. So real.

Still Here

I’ve been scarred and battered,

my hopes the wind done scattered,

snow has friz me, sun has baked me,

looks like between ‘em

they done tried to make me

stop laughin’, stop lovin’, stop livin’–

but I don’t care!

I’m still here!

– by Langston Hughes

Peace – Kimberly

P.S. – This isn’t limited to just relationships. The pain is just as tough when a friend walks away too. Just sayin.

Sounds

Kimberly Cooley — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 20:48:13 +0000

Good afternoon. How do you define or determine the measure of your faith? Is it based on what you do? How you live? How you act? The company you keep? Sorry, but faith isn’t defined nor measured by any of the above. Faith is biblically defined as the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things unseen. (Hebrews 11:1) Faith is also defined as, “a strong belief in a supernatural power that control human destiny.” Neither definition mentions our jobs, our houses, our cars, or social statuses. But instead, both definitions deal with our inner being – our spiritual makeup.

Inner being – a side that no one truly sees for what it really is but God. A side that man can merely glimpse at in the form of an action that may or may not have been spiritually led. So, how is it that people so easily pass judgment on who you are and what your spiritual life is all about based solely on what they can see? That’s not human emotion or divine intervention. That’s what you call clockwork. You see something, therefore it is….NOT.

Many times, we as a people can get so caught up in appearing to be righteous that we forget to be righteous. By this I mean, we play gospel music so we can be perceived as religious. We disrespect and downplay the “small” (genuine) people in our lives so that we can be perceived as important or dominant? When its all said and done and behind closed doors, reality is the direct opposite. Faith deals with those things that cannot be seen by man. It deals with those things of God. So how can a person’s faith be analyzed and judged because they are inspired more by Mary J. Blidge over Chris Tomlin on any given day? How can a persons faith be measured because he/she decides to wear jeans to church as opposed to a power suit? How can a persons lifestyle be concluded because he/she has lunch with a homosexual friend? It CAN’T. Its all stereotypical clockwork.

Our spiritual alignment is the only thing on this God given earth that matters. When we are solid in our faith, faith in God that is…we don’t have to try to look holy or sound holy or portray a holy image.

When you are sure of your faith, you can be inspired by the works of Michael Jackson or Mihalia Jackson. Remember that God speaks through whatever channel He needs to in order to get the Word to us. Whether it’s John Mayer performing ‘Gravity’ or CeCe Winans performing ‘Alasbaster Box,’ the message intended and the inspiration given both still has the same purpose….to inspire, to quicken, and to contribute to the wellness of our spiritual being.

I’m going to close with this. In John 17:15, Jesus prayed a very specific prayer for his decisciples. It wasn’t for their healing or their prosperity. He prayed that God not take them out of the world but instead protect them in a world in which they HAD to dwell in. In other words, it’s okay to simply live. It’s not okay to live in such a way that what we consume shifts our belief, shifts are faith….. Living and engaging among a people that’s just like you, limits you. It increases the chances of your Kingdom business going undone. It limits those that you can reach. In 1 Corinthians 9:19, Jesus said, “though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to win as many souls as possible.” What are you doing to win?

Peace – Kimberly

Real Is Reality

Kimberly Cooley — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:10:58 +0000

Good morning. Seriously be thankful for the people in your life that have been the same since day one – good or bad. Love on them and keep them close. Regardless of whatever situation life threw at your relationship, your relationship stood. Distance, disagreements, or mutual annoyance were and are minor when up against the bond. Kathy & Rox, you keep me going. You keep me loving and you love me, and when we do all of this, we keep growing.

Peace – Kimberly